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Should I Breakup With My Girlfriend?

by Molly Cohen

Photo by Khoa Võ from Pexels

Breakups are hard, so when wondering when to break up with your girlfriend things can get a bit tricky. How do I know when it's time? How do I know if I am ready to break up with her? These are common questions every guy goes through when your relationship is headed towards its final limb. Evaluating if it’s time to break up with your girlfriend is a tough decision to make. If you are asking yourself these questions, here is a 10-step guide to figure out if you should break up with her or stick it out:

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You’re not happy anymore:

The first step is to take an honest look at your emotional health. If you are not happy, there should be no other reason for a break up. It is not healthy to stay in a relationship because “it’s just a phase” or “I’ll be happy soon.” Your emotional health comes first.

You’re fighting a lot:

Of course, people fight in a relationship, that is normal. However, it’s not normal to fight every single day or have an argument every time you try to talk to each other. Being emotionally drained every time after talking to her should not be the case.

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You don’t enjoy her company anymore:

If together is feeling more like a chore, than a choice, you should probably break up with her. Enjoying each other’s company is a huge sign of whether or not you should remain in the relationship. You should be having fun together, and creating present memories, instead of the good times just being from the past.

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She avoids problems:

Whenever you have a problem and want to have a conversation, she avoids talking about it. If you are willing to work on the relationship and she isn’t, that is a problem. Things will get hard, but the important thing is you work together to fix them.

Your needs aren’t met:

If you are constantly doing things for her, and never getting anything in return, you probably have grown to resent her. Whether it's sexual, emotional, financial, your relationship should not be a one-way street. If you have voiced this to her and things still haven’t changed, it may be time to start thinking about breaking up.

You’ve been doubting the relationship:

Doubts are never good in relationships. Yes, it is normal to have doubts, but if they are persistent and re-occurring, you may have a problem. Always listen to your instincts, as they are usually right. There is a reason you have these doubts, and it is important to listen to them and figure out why they are present.

Your friends and family say yes:

If you have not only asked yourself the question of if you should break up but asked your closest friends and family too, you probably have been thinking about it for a long time. If their answer is yes, you should have a good idea of where you stand. Your friends and family know you better than anyone, and if they sense there is something wrong, maybe there is.

You just got out of a relationship:

If you just had a breakup and are already in a new relationship, it could be too soon. You need time after a breakup to re-evaluate what you need as a person and how you feel. Jumping into a new relationship could present several problems that were unresolved from the last one. You may just not be ready yet to be committed to another person after ending it with someone else so recently.

You’re settling:

This one you should already know the answer. We all know at our very core if we’re settling out of scarcity or just to be in a relationship. If you are not fulfilled and feel like something is missing, it usually is. There has to be more in a relationship than just physical attraction for it to last. Life is short, and although it is scary, it is healthier to be alone than in a relationship you don’t want.

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You want different things:

Most times you figure this out before getting into a committed relationship with someone, but still, values and other problems present themselves later down the road. If you both want different things and there is no solution or compromise, you can’t force it and you probably have to end it. There is no way to fix a misaligned relationship. You can’t force someone to change and you don’t want to change yourself and your values for someone else.

Every relationship is different and complex. It is important to use these steps as a general guideline and tailor them to your specific relationship. Some of these signs are pretty obvious while others may require you to dig a little deeper and check in with your emotional well-being. Whatever the case may be, you should be able to gain some clarity after following these steps and become closer to deciding whether to break up or stick it out.

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